Surprising myself, an anachronistic Southernism popped out of my mouth. “Well, I Suwannee,” I murmured, before promptly clapping a hand over my mouth.

I Suwanee — once a euphemism for “I swear” in polite company — sounded positively silly, mincing and antiquated. 

But by the afternoon, I learned just how antiquated it was, given Merriam-Webster’s pronouncement. Among “new” words (are they ever exactly new?) just added into the dictionary’s lexicon was “badassery.”

B-b-but badassery?

Which just demands you jump up, find a dictionary and go straight to the letter “B,” forefinger tracing the page. (Remember when a dictionary and a thesaurus were on every writer’s desk?) No need. There it was online, the first usage given as “the state or condition of being a badass: a badass quality or character.” The second usage referenced “actions or behaviors characteristic of a badass.”

Did we need this broken down for us?

As for actions or behaviors,“badassery” is not a word I would have dared use in front of my mannerly Southern Mama.

Seems K. Nunn, a California born novelist/surfer who may or may not live Down Under at this writing, may have coined the word in 1992 — beating sex advice columnist Jen Sincero to the punch. 

Fast forward to 2013.

That year, Sincero’s self-help book, You Are a Badass, published with flabbergasting hoopla.

This begs the question, what was happening in 2013? Was no one publishing that year? Actually, quite a lot of hits come to mind, including Gone Girl, Fifty Shades of Gray and a Dan Brown blockbuster. 

But Sincero’s slim volume of nothing-new-here badassery went on to sell 5 million copies, scaling to the top of The New York Times bestseller list — making her a Badass for the Ages, having sold 27 rather uninspired micro chapters heavy on graphics. The school bus yellow cover even made it into the gift book section of Grandma-friendly retailers (such as Soft Surroundings) and spawned a slew of novelties. 

Badass novelties included a paperweight-sized button that literally says “You Are a Badass” and affirmation cards. (Badass rhymes with dumbass, which is also in Merriam-Webster.)

Life is not all farts and giggles (the title of an actual podcast, which probably made another sex advice columnist rich), so let’s not dwell on the details of badassery. So, be forewarned; the title is a spoiler, giving away the gist of Sincero’s message: You (the astute reader) Are a Badass (discerning enough to buy said slender book.)

Job done! 

The author has since become a life coach, dispensing badass guidance to one and all.

Yet the day held more surprises. Sincero’s reach was far and, frankly, impressive.

Before quitting time, an attention-getting item slid into my inbox from the scientific blog Nature Briefing, a nerdy digest of scientific breakthroughs. 

Molecular biologist Gary Ruvkun gave his favorite nematode a shoutout as “badass.” Seems a lowly, yet much-studied “badass” worm inspired four (potentially more) Nobel Prizes.

“No one ever thought to use that term for a worm,” he mused wonderingly. Not before Ruvkun!

He not only asserted the worm’s badassery; he did so — and I quote — “before the Nobel-stinking-Prize.”

Nobel-stinking-Prize? That Ruvkun made sure the worm, the first animal to have its genome deciphered by geneticists, got its due when he clenched the medal. Oh, dear readers, if only to have heard Ruvkun’s acceptance speech!

I returned to Merriam-Webster, seeking inspiration for future Nobel-stinking-Prizes. 

Yawningly familiar terms like “true crime” or “beach read” hardly seemed worthy.

And “nepo baby,” a newly admitted term, is at least as old as Rupert Murdoch, Goldie Hawn’s kids, the Kardashian clan and fictional nepo babies in Succession.

But, embedded in metaphorical weeds, there were some MW surprises. 

“Touch grass” referenced interacting with the real-versus virtual -world. Ditto for “shadow ban”_another social media reference synonymous with “stealth banning” or “ghost banning,” which might quicken the pulse of a Russian troller.

But my eyelid twitched at “dungeon crawler.” You won’t catch me using that one! Nor “shadow ban.” And assuredly not “badassery.”

Even if it costs me a Nobel-stinking-Prize.

I Suwannee.