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Tea Leaf Astrologer


(September 23 – October 22)

To (pick a verb, any verb), or not to (same verb). Such is the life of a Libra. On October 4, the existential turmoil will subside when Mercury (the messenger planet) enters your sun sign, offering the clarity of thought and speech you so desperately desire. Enjoy it while it lasts. The new moon solar eclipse on October 14 has the potential to incite some wildly dramatic changes. Treat yourself to a restorative day of self-care. Frankly, you’re going to need it.

Tea leaf “fortunes” for the rest of you:

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Turn the compost.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)


Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Check the expiration date.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Someone needs a larger pot.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

The animals are trying to tell you something.

Aries (March 21 – April 19) 

Stick to the plan.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Don’t spoil your supper.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Phone a friend.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Consider the scenic route.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Three words: mineral foot soak.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

It’s funnier than you think.  OH

Zora Stellanova has been divining with tea leaves since Game of Thrones’ Starbucks cup mishap of 2019. While she’s not exactly a medium, she’s far from average. She lives in the N.C. foothills with her Sphynx cat, Lyla.