Tea Leaf Astrologer

Tea Leaf Astrologer

Pisces

(February 19 – March 20)

They say the average person has three to five dreams per night. The average Pisces, on the other hand, exists in a perpetual dream state, operating from a realm of consciousness akin to a bowl of kelp-laden miso soup. Be gentle with yourself this month, especially when a high-pressure deadline threatens to derail you. Should you find yourself floating on a cube of silken tofu, consider it your life raft from a kind and loving universe. 

Tea leaf “fortunes” for the rest of you:

Aries (March 21 – April 19) 

Suffice it to say that the eagle has landed.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Try rearranging the houseplants.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Worrying won’t change the outcome.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Note the spice level warning.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Mustard versus vinegar, baby.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

A dull knife is most dangerous.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Drop the act.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

A splash of lemon goes a long way.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

They don’t need to understand.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Invest in a nail brush.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

More tree pose.  PS

Zora Stellanova has been divining with tea leaves since Game of Thrones’ Starbucks cup mishap of 2019. While she’s not exactly a medium, she’s far from average. She lives in the N.C. foothills with her Sphynx cat, Lyla.

Tea Leaf Astrologer

Tea Leaf Astrologer

Aquarius

(January 20 – February 18)

Let’s be honest: The foundation is crumbling. So, too, are the walls. That’s Pluto in Aquarius for you, and for the next 20 years, the planet of destruction, death and rebirth will shake us to our collective core. You were, quite literally, born to show us a new way forward. When the North Node of Destiny links up with Chiron (the wounded healer) on February 19, there’s no stopping you from sharing your weirdest, wildest imaginings out loud. Bring on the renaissance, space cake.

Tea leaf “fortunes” for the rest of you:

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

A box of chocolates, minus the gooey, pink nougat.

Aries (March 21 – April 19) 

Three words: milk of magnesia.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

There’s more than one way to peel an orange.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Try not to scare off the neighbors.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Apply rose water.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Gentle pressure will suffice. 

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Soften the muscles in your face.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

What if there isn’t a wrong way?

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Best not to skim the fine print.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

If you can’t laugh at yourself, there’s work to do yet.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Tighten your bootstraps.  OH

Zora Stellanova has been divining with tea leaves since Game of Thrones’ Starbucks cup mishap of 2019. While she’s not exactly a medium, she’s far from average. She lives in the N.C. foothills with her Sphynx cat, Lyla.

Tea Leaf Astrologer

Tea Leaf Astrologer

Capricorn

(December 22 – January 19)

They say a caterpillar turns to soup before taking new form. Transformation is a messy business. Although it’s soup season for sea goats, trust that something delicious is simmering — specifically in the House of Pleasure. Let things be playful. And savory. Maybe a little spicy. When Mercury enters your sign on January 13, prepare for a grand emergence. There’s no going back to the chrysalis. 

Tea leaf “fortunes” for the rest of you:

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

It’s time for some radical honesty.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Breathe before you speak.

Aries (March 21 – April 19) 

Try sitting with the discomfort for a minute.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Two words: natural light.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Ever tried vocal toning? Look it up. 

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Spit it out already.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Trust your own (adorably neurotic) rhythm.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Smells like codependence. 

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Don’t forget the key.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Prepare to surprise everyone. Including yourself.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Less screen. More routine.  OH

Zora Stellanova has been divining with tea leaves since Game of Thrones’ Starbucks cup mishap of 2019. While she’s not exactly a medium, she’s far from average. She lives in the N.C. foothills with her Sphynx cat, Lyla. 

Tea Leaf Astrologer

Tea Leaf Astrologer

Sagittarius

(November 22 – December 21)

A little heat goes a long way. When provoked — unwittingly or otherwise — your particular brand of fire belongs on the Scoville scale, ambushing the offender with fits of nausea, abdominal pain and/or any number of unmentionable side effects. Here’s the thing: They’re not out to get you, nor are they trying to hold you back. This month, new opportunities beckon. Best not to let the petty stuff distract you from seeing them.

Tea leaf “fortunes” for the rest of you:

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Batten down the hatches.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Mind what’s on the back burner.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Just text them back already.

Aries (March 21 – April 19) 

Try fluffing your pillow.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Salt will enhance the flavor.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

It’s time to clean the mirror.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) 

What if the obstacle is the greatest blessing?

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Consider adding “sun lamp” to your wish list.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’ll get there when you get there.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Abstain from the deviled eggs.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

You must believe it to achieve it.   OH

Zora Stellanova has been divining with tea leaves since Game of Thrones’ Starbucks cup mishap of 2019. While she’s not exactly a medium, she’s far from average. She lives in the N.C. foothills with her Sphynx cat, Lyla.

Tea Leaf Astrologer

Tea Leaf Astrologer

Scorpio

(October 23 – November 21)

Everyone knows that the greatest revenge story never told is currently playing on a loop inside the dark and secretive mind of a Scorpio sun child. Relax. While the mischievous glint in your eyes does raise some suspicion, they’ll never know what you’re really thinking. On Monday, November 13, a new moon in your sign will offer a fresh perspective. Are you ready for a plot twist? You just might surprise yourself. 

Tea leaf “fortunes” for the rest of you:

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You’re going to taste that more than once.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Splurge on the fancy cheese.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Clear the cobwebs.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Your eyes give you away.

Aries (March 21 – April 19) 

Two words: buffet etiquette.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You’re clenching your teeth again.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Leave your shoes by the door.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Dress for the part you want.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Try chewing between bites.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Make space for a new houseplant.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Ever tried kickboxing?  OH

Zora Stellanova has been divining with tea leaves since Game of Thrones’ Starbucks cup mishap of 2019. While she’s not exactly a medium, she’s far from average. She lives in the N.C. foothills with her Sphynx cat, Lyla. 

Tea Leaf Astrologer

Tea Leaf Astrologer

Libra

(September 23 – October 22)

To (pick a verb, any verb), or not to (same verb). Such is the life of a Libra. On October 4, the existential turmoil will subside when Mercury (the messenger planet) enters your sun sign, offering the clarity of thought and speech you so desperately desire. Enjoy it while it lasts. The new moon solar eclipse on October 14 has the potential to incite some wildly dramatic changes. Treat yourself to a restorative day of self-care. Frankly, you’re going to need it.

Tea leaf “fortunes” for the rest of you:

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Turn the compost.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Moisturize.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Check the expiration date.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Someone needs a larger pot.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

The animals are trying to tell you something.

Aries (March 21 – April 19) 

Stick to the plan.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Don’t spoil your supper.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Phone a friend.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Consider the scenic route.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Three words: mineral foot soak.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

It’s funnier than you think.  OH

Zora Stellanova has been divining with tea leaves since Game of Thrones’ Starbucks cup mishap of 2019. While she’s not exactly a medium, she’s far from average. She lives in the N.C. foothills with her Sphynx cat, Lyla. 

Tea Leaf Astrologer

Tea Leaf Astrologer

Virgo

(August 3 – September )

While there’s a part of you that longs to feel understood, let’s be honest: Your deadpan nature thrills you to your overly guarded core. Following a messy few weeks of Mercury stationed retrograde in your sign, you’ll have a rare opportunity to turn your hawklike perception inward. Don’t be afraid to examine your own motives. Are you overcompensating for something? Keep looking. You may be surprised by what you see.

Tea leaf “fortunes” for the rest of you:

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Consult an expert.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Don’t spill all the tea at once.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You’re in the cabbage again.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Take a bold first step.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Be the stranger you wish to see in the world.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Mind the pit when you bite down.

Aries (March 21 – April 19) 

Don’t settle for the sideline.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Ever heard of feng shui? Prove it.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Resist the pumpkin spice.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Trust your inner rumblings.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Three words: ice cream sundae.    OH

Zora Stellanova has been divining with tea leaves since Game of Thrones’ Starbucks cup mishap of 2019. While she’s not exactly a medium, she’s far from average. She lives in the N.C. foothills with her Sphynx cat, Lyla. 

Tea Leaf Astrologer

Tea Leaf Astrologer

Leo

(July 23 – August 22)

No surprise: You’re in the driver’s seat this month, kiddo — just the way you like it. Control is a clever little temptress. With Venus retrograde in Leo until September 3, you can expect more than a few obstacles to arise in relation to an old flame. Navigate wisely, resisting the urge to make any brash or sudden detours. Clarity will return. In the meantime, crack the windows, crank up the tunes and celebrate this wild and precious life with lionhearted exuberance.

Tea leaf “fortunes” for the rest of you:

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

To thine own self be kind.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

There’s a balm for that.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Don’t let the muck get the best of you.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Finish what you started.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Lather, rinse and repeat.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Keep the kindling dry.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Big feelings? Release them with paint.

Aries (March 21 – April 19) 

Someone needs a time-out.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

The irony won’t be lost on you for long.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Inaction speaks louder than words.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Does “toxic productivity” mean anything to you?   OH

Zora Stellanova has been divining with tea leaves since Game of Thrones’ Starbucks cup mishap of 2019. While she’s not exactly a medium, she’s far from average. She lives in the N.C. foothills with her Sphynx cat, Lyla. 

Tea Leaf Astrologer

Tea Leaf Astrologer

Cancer

(June 21 – July 22)

Your capacity to experience the gamut of human emotions is extraordinary. And yet, while you’re busy making an Olympic sport out of mood swings, those who love you are left floundering. This month, prepare to stick a landing that will dazzle even your most grounded of companions. Use this sober moment to communicate your heart’s desires. Because here’s the gold: Your high lifts up the world.

Tea leaf “fortunes” for the rest of you:

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Try not to pick at the scab.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Step one: Relax your shoulders. Step two: Seriously? Shoulders first.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

May as well enjoy the ride.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Cut yourself some slack.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

The sign couldn’t be more obvious.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

The heart always knows.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You’re in the clouds again.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

But is it your monkey? Your circus?

Aries (March 21 – April 19) 

Just because it’s uncomfortable doesn’t mean it isn’t good for you.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Cleanup on aisle life.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

You’ll hear what you want to hear.  OH

Zora Stellanova has been divining with tea leaves since Game of Thrones’ Starbucks cup mishap of 2019. While she’s not exactly a medium, she’s far from average. She lives in the N.C. foothills with her Sphynx cat, Lyla. 

Tea Leaf Astrologer

Tea Leaf Astrologer

Gemini

(May 21 – June 20)

A random fact (because it’s clear you collect them): Butterflies taste with their feet. As the social butterfly of the zodiac — and one plagued by an ever-wagging tongue — suffice it to say that Geminis know the taste of their feet. But for every foot-in-mouth moment you suffer, your wit and charm never fail to bail you out. When Mercury (your ruling planet) enters Gemini on June 11, your blundering will subside. In other words: They’ll be eating from the palm of your hand.

Tea leaf “fortunes” for the rest of you:

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Delete the app.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Please remain seated while the ride is in motion.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Let it be a surprise.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Just add water. 

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Scrolling isn’t a hobby.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Take a long, deep breath.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

It was already broken.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Don’t spoil your supper.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Exit the hamster wheel.

Aries (March 21 – April 19) 

Butter your own biscuit.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Two words: car karaoke.   OH

Zora Stellanova has been divining with tea leaves since Game of Thrones’ Starbucks cup mishap of 2019. While she’s not exactly a medium, she’s far from average. She lives in the N.C. foothills with her Sphynx cat, Lyla.